Going With the Flow

A recent flop of a weekend reminded me why it's best to just let things unfold as they may instead of trying to orchestrate the perfect moment.  Normally planning is not my thing.  I don't really do it.  I'm not even good at it.  Your dad is the "man with the plan" and I'm the one constantly wants to drop everything and hit the beach when I see that the sunset is going to be particularly epic.  Over the years your dad has loosened up and gotten better about being spontaneous, and especially good about handling situations when things don't turn out the way he expected.  I, on the other hand, haven't learned a bit about planning.  If anything, I am more of a procrastinator than ever.  But every once in a while I dream up a scenario in my head and set out to recreate it in real life.  This type of motivation is, of course, doomed to failure from the word "go."

Putting on your hat for a stroll around the lake.

Usually our weekends are pretty easy going.  We try not to schedule much so that we can sleep in, enjoy the outdoors and get a few things accomplished.  But we had an unusually warm start to the winter this year.  It was warm enough to seek out water...too cold for the beach or pool still, but just right for splash parks.  The warmth had me itching to spend as much time outside as possible, realizing that soon it would be too hot to enjoy.  For some reason I was determined to get you to a park with a splash pad (there are plenty) and make some memories.  Once summer is in full force, not even a concrete slab full of sprayers can shake the heat.  But for now it was just what the doctor ordered.

You look as disappointed as I felt.

Still, it was a beautiful day.

We made up for it with a produce stand visit and a shared smoothie.

As it turned out, I also needed to pick up a beach permit at the park.  So on a particularly warm Friday, I packed you in the car with a swimsuit, sunscreen, shades...typical Floridian paraphernalia...and drove to the park (at the far end of town) specifically for their massive water area.  I pictured the scenario: your reaction to being splashed, the water beading on your skin from the sunscreen, the possibility that you may get a surprise, direct hit to the face.  I imagined the photos I could capture, and used this to justify the extra gas I was using just to go all the way out there.

From your swing you had the perfect view of the water par we were supposed to be playing on.

Imagine my surprise when we showed up to find it was closed.  Why hadn't this possibility occurred to me?  Admittedly, this is pretty much my sort of luck, but in that moment it almost felt like a conspiracy.  I was disappointed, but we made the most of the day anyway.  And it wasn't a complete wash...we did get our parking pass.  The park staff insisted that the water would be running again before the end of the day, and so I began hatching a plan to return with the whole family.  Still determined to find water, we did in fact head out to a much closer playground after Sydney got off the bus.  We hung out until almost sunset, and it was pretty much perfect.  Even better than what I had "planned" because we got to take Sydney along.  So much for my conspiracy theories!

Water!

She was a happy girl.

You were mighty brave.

I got what I was looking for...water beading up on your sunscreened skin.

You even got splashed in the face without so much as a tear.

I think we wore you out.

Time to go.

 Call me a glutton for punishment, but I still insisted on planning a family picnic at the first water park for the next day.  We packed  up some barbecue necessities and promised you girls a splash park.  We drove clear across town again, only to find that- you guessed it- it was still closed.  This time I take the blame.  I really should have called.  We still enjoyed some beautiful weather and barbecued by the lake, but we probably looked a little silly toting around beach towels and swimsuits.  Conspiracy: 2  Me:0.

You don't look so thrilled about the way this was turning out.

Familiar story...walking around the lake instead of splashing in the water.

At least the sun was nice enough to put on a little show as it set.

In order to salvage the weekend from certain doom, I decided to plan yet another family outing.  Apparently, I'm not quick to catch on.  We decided to try out a new restaurant downtown for lunch.  It's a cute little open-air joint in Dockside Boardwalk, on Naples Bay.  I know what you're thinking.  We headed downtown...in season...and expected it to go well.  I have no defense.  You see, I was still seeking water.  It's within walking distance of our favorite park, Cambier.  And there are a few sprayers there.  Perfect...outdoor play, hot weather, water, outdoor dining...what could go wrong?  Plus, I'd made a promise to Sydney that she could be a street musician for a day.  I'm not sure where she gets these ideas from, but she was determined to play her guitar and have an upside-down hat for tips, in hopes of donating her proceeds to an orphanage.  How could I say no?  So I packed her guitar, a hat and a quilt in the car.  You and I made our way downtown only to find the entire area surrounding the park clogged with tourists.  The city was holding an obnoxiously large art show at Cambier.  Needless to say, we parked a good 8 blocks from the restaurant, there was no water play, and certainly no street musician performance.  Sydney didn't even make it to the playground, the rest of the family just met us for lunch (not that I could blame them).  Conspiracy theories abound.  I'm not saying it was a bad day.  Far from it.  Lunch was enjoyable, you girls got to browse like tourists, and there was a 15 minute stint at the playground for you and I.  It didn't turn out like I had imagined, but that's just what I get for expecting so much out of one day.  And in case you're keeping score, that's 3 for the Conspiracy and a big old goose egg for me.

You love swings!

Family lunches.

Being tourists.

Shell-hunting.

Found some!

And just like that, I reminded myself why it's so much better to just wait and see what the weekends have in store for us, rather than insisting on scheduling our weekends to death.  The truth is that trying to create a "moment" never results in ones so magical as the ones that just happen.  I know this, but sometimes we all need a reminder.  I think I'll let daddy handle the plans from here on out and I'll stick to going with the flow.

Heart-shaped leaf.  It's a sign that we ended up where we belonged.

I Love...

So many things.  So many little things.

I love that you still fit in this dress.  A favorite gift from your dancing buddy, Amy.

I love the way you walk into Kylee's (messy) room and announce "Duppeedup" (which means "clean up, clean up").

I love the way you sleep with both arms over your head.

I love the way you throw one hand in the air and dance when you hear anything that resembles music...a ringtone, a child's toy, a particularly melodic car alarm.

I love that you hop up on this bench every single time we walk out the front door.

I love that the sideways, sticky-out tongue is your go-to face.  Always.

I love that you see dirt and feel compelled to stick your fingers in it, beads and you instantly drape them around your neck, and shoes and you must try them on.

I love that anytime a motorcycle, or a car in need of a new muffler, passes the house you turn to me and announce that it is indeed "Noisy." 

I love that you know the rules well enough that you wouldn't go near the fountain until I told you it was okay.

I love that you understood how to toss the pennies in.  We'll work on wishes later.

 I love the way your hair is growing out and curling into itself in soft wisps in the back.

I love that you watch sports with your daddy.  You'll never really know how happy your interest makes him.

I love the way you watch every move we make and imitate it silently, down to facial expressions.

I love how expressive your eyes are.

 

I love that you want to walk to the same house every day, just to pick their very average flowers.

I love that as soon as your feet are dangling, you swing them wildly.

I love that your hair is finally long enough for some decent pigtails.

I love your profile.

I love your amber necklace, and that most people just assume I'm letting you wear jewelry for fun.

I love that you fit perfectly in the crook of my arm when we are laying side-by-side.

I love the way you know all of the names of the body parts and decide to randomly poke them with no warning just to prove it.

I love that it's finally the time of year when we get decent indoor light again.

I love the way you celebrate little and big victories with equal enthusiasm.

I love the way your hair catches and holds the sunlight, as if it glows.

 I love the way you will try any and every fruit and veggie at the produce stand, but turn your nose up at so many of them at home.  Okay, I don't really love that one, but I think it's pretty funny.

I love that you yell "Hi, turtle!" randomly at Crunchy, Sydney's pet turtle, and try to feed him from fake food cans.

I love the way you are learning to love reading, and the fact that you will finally sit still through 6+ books at a time.

I love the way you call out "Mommy" when you wake up.  Softly, and over and over, until I appear.

I love that you swing open the doors and windows of this house and say "hello" when you're playing.

I love those lips.

I love the way indirect sunlight hits your eyes and turns them the exact color of denim.

I love the way you loudly shout "Bye!" to Daddy and Ashley when you know it's time for them to leave.  No worries, because you know they will always return.

I love the way you love your sisters.  You are obsessed with every move they make and insist that they include you in everything.  

I love the way you call diapers "Elmo's" because I started buying Pampers...and they have Elmo on them.

I love that I can usually distract you when I'm cooking by asking if you are cooking also.  Almost every time you beeline it to your toy kitchen and whip up something.  Just like mommy.

I love that you love dress-up clothes.  You have no idea what the hula is, but you're down with a grass skirt anyway.

I love that you eat half of every berry, and put the rest back in the container for the rest of us.

I love all of your little birthmarks...especially the freckle on your hand.

I love the way that you have figured out how to use an iPhone and iPad in less time than it will take to potty train you.

I love the way your chubby legs look in short dresses and sandals...all dimply and perfect.

I love your cheesy smiles.

I love that there's usually some remnants from your last meal or snack on your face because you hate having it wiped.  And I choose my battles.

I love the way you love to be outdoors and are drawn to water.  You're so my girl.

I love that you have mastered how to get down from the sofa and bed, and that I can now walk away (or even just look away) without risking a broken bone.

I love that you are slow in getting teeth, and that your smile is still pretty gummy.  But the teeth you do have are killing me with cuteness.

I love the way you say "I love you," and even more so, the fact that you now say it unprompted sometimes.

I love that you are finally old enough to play with the ribbon wands from your birthday party.  Supervised, anyway.

I love that neon colors are "in" right now, because they look amazing on you.

I love that you will share a coconut popsicle with me.

I love that pretty much every cashier and bagger at both Publix and Target know you well.  I'd like to think that it's because you are so charming, and not because I shop too frequently.

I love that every day with you is a new adventure.  That you are curious and thoughtful when examining your surroundings.  And that there is nothing so wrong in your world that a quick "explore" of the back yard can't fix.

I love the way you love your daddy.  You light up every time he comes home.

I love that you appreciate the deliciousness that is chocolate.

I love that you wear my old dresses.

I love those cheeks and lashes.

I love that, even though you detest having your hair washed, you love your bath anyway, even knowing it always ends in a shampoo.

I love when you are feeling snuggly or tired or shy and you drape yourself across me, and bury your head into my arm, because you know you are safe there.

I love so very many things about being your mommy.  I could go on forever.  But mostly I just want you to know how very much I am enjoying right now.  I love your new-found independence, but also your need to have me nearby.  I love to watch you learn new words, eat new foods, pick up some new dance moves and discover new games.  I love it all.

I love the trust you have in us to never let you down.

I love that you came along and shook us up.  Proved that we weren't done growing as a family.  And found space in my heart for love I never knew I was capable of.  Love for a fourth baby that was there all along.  Love that.

Just Doing Our Thing

These moments that I cannot possibly plan....these are my favorite.

Lately, it seems as though a planned adventure is a sure sign of disaster.  However, adventure manages to seek us out anyway, and usually when we least expect it.  I had an entire weekend full of disappointments when I tried my hardest to fit in a barbecue at a splash park.  But things always worked out in the end, despite not going as planned.  Not one single time.  And that's truly the best kind of adventure anyway.  Life, totally unscripted.  This fact doesn't surprise me.  I've never been a planner.  I've never had any use for schedules, itineraries, or plans.  Things rarely live up to their expectations if your expectations are high.  And you risk missing the fun that is sitting right in front of you when you are so focused on your "plans."  But if you just follow the ebb and flow, figure out how to make the best of a situation and roll with it, magical things can happen.  We proved that last weekend when a trip to the farmer's market turned into a trip to a museum, and then some. But that'll have to be another post because I haven't uploaded the photos yet.

Splashing in puddles.  New favorite activity.

Other than these wacky weekends, there's a whole lotta nothing going on around here.  And I'm not complaining.  After New Year's Day, rather than slow down, things went a bit haywire.  Your dad went back to school, for starters.  I am so proud of him for seeing an opportunity and taking it.  He is making huge sacrifices in order to ensure a better future for our family.  I won't lie, it's been a sacrifice for us all.  Between work, school, softball and the gym, daddy-time is not as frequent as you've become accustomed to.  Every time daddy walks past the front door, you run toward him saying, "Bye!"  It breaks his heart.  However, I give him credit.  He maximizes every minute he does get with you girls.  It would be easy to make excuses, but he never does.  He tucks Sydney in, takes Kylee for lunch, plays with you on the floor, blows bubbles, buys tickets for Disney on Ice, grabs your sisters for impromptu ice cream dates and even takes them along to softball games.  I couldn't have picked a better daddy if I tried.  Well, actually, I did pick him.  But that's all the credit I can take.  He's amazing.  We also had some car trouble, which prompted the purchase of a second car.  We've been getting by with one for far too long, so it was high time.  The new car is so roomy and downright luxurious to me.  It was love at first sight.  Sydney has picked up a second dance class (ballet 3, on scholarship).  I am proud of her dedication and talent.  It does mean that three days of the week she now has after school commitments.  Rather than simplifying, I feel as though we are complicating things.  But it is mostly temporary.  And none of it is bad news.  

Inspecting the new car.

Your new bed.  Looks comfy.

You like it!

You have blossomed into quite the chatterbox.  The things you say crack me up.  My favorites are "I wuv woo" and "Nuggle" (snuggle...which is accompanied by a self-hug.  Every time.)  You could scrape me off the floor when you say these things, because I'm nothing but a melty puddle on the floor.  You also repeat pretty much everything, but some of the things you are saying with tons of regularity are: "Hi, turtle!" to Crunchy, our turtle (and you take a fake can of peas from your kitchen set and pretend to shake food into his tank out of it), "Happy!", all fruit and vegetables are "apples", your sisters' names ("Nidnee", "YaYa", "Ayee"), almost all of the body parts: "eye", "nose", "mouth", "ear", "toes" etc. (but bellybutton sounds like "do do" and hair is "ew"...you know, because when you get a piece in your mouth you say "ewww").  

Trying to catch up on pictures.  This was from a park day in January.

Blowing bubbles in the park.

It's always breezy on Lake Avalon.

Just hangin' out.

Playing at the children's museum.  Nice Mickey water painting, Syd!

You are finally old enough to participate.  Grocery shopping at the museum.

Your favorite stop on our way outdoors: the Finnlee-sized bench.

Your stripey leggings are my favorite.

You are adding new moves to your dance repertoire, and new foods to your diet.  Currently, your favorite foods are apples, cheese, eggs with cheese, grits, banana yogurt, and pretty much anything that I am trying to eat.  Oh, and chocolate.  You love chocolate.  Just in the past week, your tiny gums are exploding with new teeth.  We've gone from six teeth to what seems like a million over night.  There are more molars in there every time I look.  And your smile is quickly becoming a toothy grin.  Your hair is growing and looking rather bushy.  Just today I felt that it is starting to get in your eyes.  Time to buy some cute clips and make you wear them!  We've made up a "big girl bed" for you, which is nothing more than a crib mattress on the floor.  But we are using it for naps for now with the hope that eventually you will be able to sleep there at night.  The too-big shoes that I felt silly for buying just months ago are now starting to fit.  There's enough room to ensure you'll be wearing them at least this spring.  But I'm already wondering what size you'll be in this summer and wanting to plan ahead.  (Impossible!)  I have even been working on plans for your second birthday party.  I know, I know.  It's more than seven months away.  But if there's one thing I know with certainty, it's that time flies.  It's March already.  March!  Wasn't it just New Year's?  Like two posts ago?!

Stuck.  And not happy about it.

A long-awaited visit from Amy, mommy's friend.  Sooo much fun playing in the fountains.

You started out apprehensive but ended up soaked.  Nothing like ice cream and water play in January.  Oh, Florida!

I love when shirts with captions become ironic.

Little lady, doing some grocery shopping.

Looking up recipes in your cookbook.

You will never convince me that it's too early to start planning your birthday parties, just like you will never convince me that it's a good idea to plan out your weekend.  Then again, I also said I could never enjoy such a structured vacation as a cruise, but I was dead wrong about that.  So maybe just maybe I might try to drag you all to the park for a bbq and splash pad date again.  But rest assured, I will call this time to see if it's open.  Fool me once...okay, actually, twice...but it won't happen again (I hope).